By Counselor Karen: Today, more than ever relationships are struggling. Why is that? Why are people falling head over heels in love and then a few months to a few years later are wanting out as if they never felt anything with the person they were with. The answer to that is quite clear… social media and its impact on trust.
While divorce and breakups are not something new for any era, this era in particular has a problem with Facebook, cell phones, emails, and Instagram and all out media outlets that make it easy for anyone to meet someone new quite easily and discreetly. We live in an age where everything is texts and chats. The lack of face to face time with one another in person is becoming the norm. Cheating is at all time highs! Divorce is the new in and relationships are becoming less important.
People are becoming sensitized to the feelings and emotional connections that are so important in everyday life. They are misunderstanding texts from a lover and putting their own analysis on them. For example, “Honey, I have to work late” and that can be taken as he or she does not have time for me, or maybe they are secretly with someone else. All these scenarios start running through our heads and before you know it there is no trust or stability in our relationship.
Talking in person or even taking time by putting our cell phones down at dinner or while we are out with someone we love is causing love to not grow as love once did. People are not putting effort into their relationships because of technology but especially because of social media. They are being selfish and thinking about themselves rather than the person right before them.
While I agree texting is great when you are with someone and just want to brighten their day with a sweet comment or tell them you love them, it’s not great for the one asking someone new on a date or getting to know them straight from text. We have lost our personal connections. We are losing the ability to love unconditionally because we are finding social media is showing us more attractive people, more fantasies, and especially more opportunities to cheat and to lie. But really social media is lying to people in relationships that there is something better out there. Therefore, we do not appreciate or take time to invest in the person we are with. The person we once thought was everything we ever wanted. Beauty, money, power is all over the Internet and social media and its messing with our perception of what love is supposed to be. We are being exposed to flirting with disaster because of the ease of being able to be secret.
I just challenge everyone to start putting your cellphone down when you are with the one you love. Start making more time without social media being the number one thing in your lives. Start investing more time in the relationships that you started. The world is going down a different path these days, but you are the only one that controls the outcome of a successful relationship. Use social media as a tool for the relationship you are in, but don’t search for something that is not out there in reality and that can destroy something good. If you are with someone worthy of your time, then make more time! There is no reason to look at other’s selfies when you are already with a person that is selfless.
Love and Light,