I am your soulmate, your lover, your friend. I am the one who promises you everything. I am the one who makes you feel that you have found the one, the one who will be with you for the rest of your life. The one who tells you that we can build a life together. I am the one who takes you places and makes you feel safe. I am the one that lets you know you can trust. I do this very quickly and very seductively. I do this in a way where you have no time to breathe and you are on a constant high. I am the one who is constantly texting and making time to see you, putting in a lot of energy and time to bring you into my world. I am the one feeding of your attention, your love and your strength.
This is the first stage of me bringing you into my world as you see I am a soulless person. I don’t feel the way you do, I don’t love the way you do and I do not have the strength that you do. I cant relate to people with empathy like you do, I have hole where my heart should be. I am person who needs to feed of other people’s emotions. I don’t care if it positive or negative.
I have snared you, I have all your attention, I am feeling powerful. Then suddenly without warning, I turn, I become bored or you have started to question me because I have suddenly stopped the attention, stopped texting you, stopped at times even talking to you. I may choose to not contact you for a few days or even a week. This is my way of holding my power over you. I watch your reaction. You question me why, but instead of answering you I stay quiet or turn it around back on to you. I don’t want to fix the problem I am causing. I am getting another kind of attention from. Confusion, anger and you trying harder to gain back my attention. I relish this; this is food for my soul. I feel good again. I may even at times pretend to forget things you say to me or what I have said to you. I can also be nasty and angry especially when you start to question me, or try to tell me that things need to change. For me they don’t need to change, I am happy with the outcome of what is happening. Again this is attention. I see you trying to please me, and I just keep this out of reach for you. Understand not matter what you do, it you will never please me because I don’t want you to. I want you to be confused and frustrated. I want you to think that you can save me.
Eventually you see through me, but by this time I have almost destroyed you, but wait, I haven’t finished. You may break up with me, but this does not stop me, because boundaries don’t exist for me. I will try to get you back, but be aware this is because I need you there, not because I want you there, I need to keep you around even while I am moving on to the next person. I need you there to reel her in, I have smeared you to her, you are crazy, or you are a stalker because you are crazy in love with me. I need you there so I can keep destroying you; I need you to completely broken. I will lie, I will cheat, I will reduce your support system.
If I have to I will use the legal system to my advantage, I will make you crazy with jealousy, I will make you feel like there is no one to turn to and nowhere to go. You feel isolated, you feel like you have done something. When you get to this point I know I have done my job.
The only way you can remove me entirely from your life is to block me from everything, do not contact me in any form. I may still try because I do not like that you have the strength to do this, I don’t want you to rise out of the ashes, and I want you destroyed. If per chance we have children together, then this makes it harder to remove me as I still have contact. You can just ignore me, and only speak to me about the children. This will also make me angry but after a while I will give up and move on.
Who am I? I am your friend, your lover, your soul mate. I am your worst nightmare.
This is my interpretation from the mind of a toxic person. Please understand that if you have experiences this you can heal from this and come back even better and stronger. I am here to help you at any time.
Just remember it is never your fault. You are what they cannot be. Always remember that.
Love, Light and Blessings