By Ann: This is a good topic when you think about it when we are without partners we always wants to build that level of trust because we love them. But when they do something out of the ordinary this then make us feel that there is something wrong is he or she cheating.
Breaking up with a cheater is not as easy as it sounds. Unless you are faced with this heart wrenching decision, you have no idea what courage it takes to do this especially if you have a lot invested in your relationship. And spent so many years together and given a lot this can have a lot of emotion attached to this but you must not blame yourself.
No matter what you your relationship may have been lacking, you did not force your mate to cross that line of trust. There weakness is at fault. We can all look at this different and this is why I am writing this article firstly you need to look at are you keeping your relationship spiced up intimacy plays a big part and of course if there is a lack of this and hugs and kisses and interaction in a loving way your partner will feel rejected and move on to someone that will show them the emotional support on a mental and psychical level so instead of blame you need to ask yourself, have you given your partner all the attention.
This is not a one sided affair it takes two people to make or break a relationship so if this has happened to you before you blame and react you need to gain evidence that he or she did this because they do not want to be in the relationship any more with you or they need affection or they got drunk and fell into temptation many factors can be the cause of this to happen. Your partner’s low self-esteem they feel to be needed and feel good that someone just accepts them for what they are and they do not have to be anything they are not. So if you think your partner is cheating you need to look deeply before you tell him or her to go once you have looked at your own action and if you have given everything in the bedroom and love and affection then he or she has the problem not you this can be fixed even though people say once a cheater always a cheater this is not true. You can save your relationship. And forgive and work through why he or she did this action and if they do not know why then you need to seek help for them to find out what triggered this of instead of throwing years and months way and parting yes it is not easy but you also have to look at your marriage and children and if you love your partner.
* Try not to judge and make him or her feel bad
* Ask why he or she did this and does he or she love the other person
* Being honest with yourself is important. If you don’t end the relationship, can you live with the thought that it might happen again? Or it may not happen again
* It always helps to forgive and put it behind you and not dwell on the past if you want to move forward.
* Do you want to invest the energy to “monitor” the relationship? What would you have to lose but see if he and she is remorseful and the years and months that you have spent together is saved remember you have free will and this is all about choices now how you feel as well as your partner
Get counselling! It’s not a particularly bad idea to do this even if there’s nothing wrong in your life, but when you are hurt it can definitely help to talk to someone professional
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