By Gertrude: The most intimate connection we have in a relationship is our voice. Where we share our thoughts and feelings as well as being listened to. When we talk about communication we often overlook the real skill of listening.
While we also think of our voice as verbalizing what is going on for us. Expressing our concerns and desires. It goes deeper than that. We voice ourselves in many other ways as well. Non verbal communication is just as important.
Something that is also common is that the other relationships in our lives can have pure understanding. We can do this with our work colleagues, in business meetings, with family and friends. However, when it comes to matters of the heart, we stall, feel fear and in many cases not be able to open up.
Over the years that I have been helping people as a spiritual advisor, I have many times said that it’s time that the situation could be clarified simply with an adult conversation. While it can be awkward to put our hearts and feelings out there. An adult conversation is always critical to make improvements.
I never recommend ‘the talk’. The Talk more often than not comes across as being an ultimatum and with an ultimatum it generally fails. This is because people become defensive and think that rather than taking on board observations or anything they view as criticism.
What I always recommend is that we can find out where we stand in a situation by expanding a current conversation. Perhaps you are talking about goals and ambitions around other aspects, all that might be needed is to ask how they feel about the future and what would be the best life outcome for them.
The purpose of expressing our voice is so that we can not only better understand ourselves but other people, the situations they are in and what our world view or perception is. It allows us to allay any fears we may have, real or imagined. To in some respect support ourselves knowing that there is a positive step forward. Or that the person we are connected and concerned about is on the same page.
It will enable us to build loyalty and mutual respect. It teaches the other person how to treat us and create the life circumstance conditions we want and hope for ourselves. Naturally too it allows us to share any creative ideas we have. It’s the best problem solving tool we possess.
The top priority right now in your life is to find out how and where you stand in the situation you have found yourself in. It truly is a vital key ingredient to have in all that we do and in all aspects of our lives.
When others communicate with us there are many other forms, not just words. We can do this through the transmission of our and their body language. Our appearance and I’m not talking in terms of beauty, but in what we wear, the colors we choose. Do we or the other person wear comfortable clothes or dress to impress? Physiological changes like sweating, blushing, being nervous or very clearly confident. There are many cues for this style of communication.
Mannerisms and expressions can be obvious. Especially once we get to know someone on a more intimate basis we can often know what their mood or attitude is well before they speak. Taking all of this into consideration is so very important when assessing a situation. Or trying to understand any changes or aspects of what is happening in our situation.
It isn’t always possible for everyone to be able to speak clearly and concisely. Especially where emotions are involved as quite often without being negative we can fall into a pattern of misinterpretation. Both is assessing what we are being shown. Or how we show others how we are feeling about them.
It can be difficult to establish a rapport in every given time or emotional space we find ourselves or others in. While it’s a key element for success, be positive as well as patient both with ourselves and with other people. None of us get it right every single time. As each of us go through different things we can’t always be 100 percent confident or straight forward every single time.
Even if someone is giving us the silent treatment. Remember that silence also says a lot. Not everyone can express what is going on inside of them and think least said soonest mended. Or simply hope that the situation resolves itself. So never jump to conclusions. Because actions at the end of the day speak much louder than words.
If you are having communication problems don’t hesitate to give me a call and together we can explore how you may be able to overcome any doubts.
Love and Light,
Gertrude
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