By Isabella: A few months ago, I wrote a piece on RED FLAGS and identifying them so you avoid the pitfalls of dating and relationships. Many begin a relationship with so much hope that it clouds their discernment and they run like the wind head on into a tornado. Others trod slowly and deliberately and in the age of social media have learned it’s better to check the object of their affection out, before giving them a key to their apartment or home. Those suffering from the “I can’t stand to be alone” syndrome usually enter a relationship with blinders on and become the victim of their own insecurity, neediness or dysfunction.
Those who love themselves first and value the person they are also possess self-respect typically and THEY are the ones who find lasting love. You don’t attract the mate you want, you attract the mate you are, what you are acts as the magnet. If you are needy you attract needy or it’s opposite, controlling. If you lack self-love you attract the weak, those with addiction issues or those who are abusive. Though I am painting this theory with a broad brush it’s not far off in defining that which is typical in the infinite search for lasting love.
What I find most disturbing is the random rendezvous where in this day and age a “hook up” can cost you your life. We are at a critical time on earth where previous lifetimes of karma are surfacing in human beings and that karma tracks down and locates the originator or sender. In the age of COVID, it is even more difficult to find someone to love and yet when you broach it from a spiritual perspective, you find that the old adage is true. ”Those who are intended to love you WILL” is a quote written by author Ariaa Jaeger and though it has been around for more than 25 years most never succumb to that simple notion. Most don’t journal or even dream of what they want, they go into a dating scenario randomly. Focusing on the kind of mate you want and being specific is imperative to producing the results and romance you seek. But I digress.
The red flags of today are basic but there are red flags and in addition to that there are your ‘deal-breakers.” If you don’t have any “deal-breakers,” good luck, you will get what you get and all that comes with it. Deal breakers may include the following:
No to dating if:
*They have a criminal record
*They have been abusive emotionally or physically
*They are a player and look at other men or women when with you
*They are controlling or the jealous type
*They have never been married
*They have addiction of any kind: sex addiction, illegal or prescription drug addiction, alcohol addiction, gambling or gaming addictions including video games.
* They have a victim mentality or are constantly negative
*If they are adult and still live with parent/parents
* Narcissists/sociopaths are easy to identify. Take the time to assess before sleeping with someone.
These should be “deal breakers” for everyone and at the very least are major red flags.
You may spend a short time or a lifetime looking for the right partner but it is well worth your time to investigate, assess and choose a partner from your intuition, heart and head, not just your heart.
If you want to learn more about using intuition and soulmate manifestation give me a call, I’d love to help you create and find the perfect relationship!
Love and Blessings,