By Isabella: We begin a new year full of promise and the hope for greater things yet to come and yet many of you refuse to let go of a past that no longer serves you. I speak to so many of you who call to ask about ending a relationship, which you tell me in your heart, is over.
Yet many of you stay waiting for him/her to either cheat on you or leave you, and that triggers your abandonment/betrayal issues making it far worse than if you had just cut and run when you knew it was over.
Life is about choices and learning how to choose wisely is imperative to well-being and happiness. When you see repeat patterns in another person, in their behavior, in their actions, in their choices or in their moods, it’s best to pay attention and stop dismissing those things as fixable… most of the time they are not. And even if they are elements that can be fixed, you are probably not qualified enough to effect real change. People rarely change their stripes and many times the universe is simply trying to redirect you to someone or something better.
As humans, we tend to cling and our egos tell us we can fix just about anyone we love. There are times when love is strong enough to endure the typical adjustments that being in a monogamous relationship requires. But repeat behavior is the red flag of all red flags because it implies deeper dysfunction and habitual behavior that cannot be redeemed. That is the mark of death to any relationship.
When you love and respect yourself, you won’t let anyone dirty your soul and by dirty, simply put, I mean crap on you! Others treat you the way you allow them to and only you can determine how much you are going to take. Promises, flowers and other romantic overtures can only soothe bad behavior, but when your mate is having to spring for treats every single month in order to apologize for yet another misstep, then maybe you should seek out greener pastures.
Letting go of what isn’t working and has little to no chance of succeeding is not only good for your health but it is imperative for your soul’s growth. You don’t know what you may be missing by clinging to a lover who does not value or cherish you. Many times your guides and angels are trying to bring your real soulmate into your life and yet until there is a void to fill, that person will remain at bay. You can actually miss the opportunity to meet your perfect mate by holding on to a relationship that is energetically over.
All relationships have their issues and all are challenging no matter how much love there is between you. However, if there is verbal abuse, addiction, deception, (even small lies) if there is physical abuse or anything that you don’t feel you can personally overcome, you might want to consider moving on. There are many issues most can deal with, forgive and continue feeling love for their partner, but when the love begins to fail, that is the first sign you should move on. Love is rarely recaptured to the same degree it began with. You decide on whether to settle for lesser love or whether to find love that is more satisfying.
Whatever you decide to do, remember that learning to let go also entails getting over it and healing your heart as fast as you can. The longer you linger in the “what ifs” the more you block the what can be. Move swiftly through the heartache and have faith that love will find you again, because it always does.
If you want to learn more about letting go, give me a call. Wishing you a new year full of infinite possibilities and the probability that you will have or find love in 2019!
With beams of love,