How To Embrace The Spirit Of The Season, Even When Alone

By Miriam: The holiday season is here—a special time to pause, connect with loved ones, give thanks, and spread joy.

From festive decorations to delicious meals, the holidays bring happiness to many. But for some, this time of year can be challenging, marked by stress, loneliness, or unmet expectations.

For those without family or friends to celebrate with, the holidays can amplify feelings of isolation and even shame. It’s as if being alone during the season makes one feel forgotten, like a child excluded from a game. Loneliness during the holidays can be deeply painful, leaving many to shut themselves away.

I get it. For much of my life, I was a true Scrooge when it came to the holidays. Bah humbug! A strained family life, no children of my own, and spending holidays alone while my husband traveled for work made the season feel miserable. But today, I love the holidays!

What changed? Not my circumstances, but my perspective. I found a formula that helps me embrace the season with joy, even when I spend it alone. It’s simple, requires little effort, and can even cost nothing. In the spirit of the holidays, I’d love to share my recipe for finding holiday magic.

Miriam’s Formula for a Joyful Holiday Season (Even Alone)
Step 1: Skip the Stress of Traveling
I no longer travel during the holidays—no exceptions. If someone wants to visit me, it depends on whether their presence adds joy to my life. If not, they simply aren’t invited. It’s also a safety issue; many accidents happen because people feel obligated to travel during the holidays. I calmly explain that traveling doesn’t work for me, and I don’t apologize for prioritizing my well-being.

Step 2: Keep Spending Minimal
Holidays don’t have to be expensive to be magical. My husband and I exchange one gift each, capped at $60, and we don’t buy cards or gifts for others. We have a pre-lit fake tree that we bought for $50 years ago, and we add one or two inexpensive ornaments each year. If you’re not feeling decorations, skip them entirely! The goal is to make the season special for you, not to meet others’ expectations.

Step 3: Dive Into Holiday Music and Movies
When I’m alone, I immerse myself in holiday-themed films, shows, and music from Thanksgiving through New Year’s—and sometimes into February! Whether it’s a heartwarming classic or a winter-themed horror movie, I watch whatever lifts my spirits. I also love ambiance videos of fireplaces or vintage carols. The key is to surround yourself with things that make you feel warm and festive.

Step 4: Make the Day Special in Your Own Way
For me, this means spoiling my cats. I gather their favorite toys (often the ones hidden under the couch or oven), sprinkle catnip, and scatter treats around the house. Watching their joy as they explore is pure magic. If you don’t have pets, consider volunteering at a shelter, baking treats for others, or visiting a hospital or nursing home to share some holiday cheer.

Step 5: Do One Act of Kindness
This step is the most important. At some point during the season, I make a meaningful connection with someone—whether it’s an overworked cashier, a stranger in line, or a customer service rep over the phone. I offer empathy, kindness, and a heartfelt wish for them to enjoy their holidays, however they choose to spend them. These small moments of human connection leave a lasting impact on both of us.

Embracing the Spirit of the Season
These steps transformed the holidays for me, turning what was once a miserable time into a season filled with light and love—even if it’s just me and my cats. The magic isn’t in the gifts or the gatherings; it’s in the spirit you carry in your heart.

If you dread the holidays or feel lonely, I hope this formula brings you peace and joy. As Charles Dickens so beautifully said, may you “honor [the holidays] in [your] heart, and try to keep it all the year!”

Wishing you warmth, love, and holiday magic,

Miriam