Core Wounds & Self Love

By Sue: You will find a lot online talking about core wounds or core issues, so I thought I would explain here in more depth.You can think of a core wound as the nucleus of something.

It is the main body of something, which feeds other things. It is the platform or the energy source from which other things take life. Simply put it is the core, from which other issues spring. If we put this in nature’s terms, then the core would be a volcano and the other issues that spring from that core would be the rocks created by lava.

When we look at it in that context, it is easy to see that there is no long-term solution in simply cleaning up the lava, or stopping its flow. The long-term solution could only come from dealing with the volcano.
This is your life, these are your issues. What you see on the surface is frequently only the lava, and the simple solution appears to be to work with the lava. Many books are written, many courses are available, many experts exist to guide you in dealing with each stream of lava. Eventually though, you will start to realise that no matter how much work you do on the lava, more lava will follow.

True healing, making that real change in your life, means addressing the core issue. It means acknowledging the existence of the volcano, and changing what is bubbling within you. Once you change what exists within you, then you automatically change what flows outward from that core.

This shift in focus, working on you from the inside, is what will bring you to yourself and what will help you to finally make that true change that you been wishing to achieve for so long. When you work on those outer issues, when you try to stem the flow of the lava, you engage in a battle. You begin the push/pull energy of trying to go against the flow of what is happening from within you. You begin a pointless exercise of trying to achieve inner peace, by engaging in a civil war.

When you stop wasting energy on this battle and instead recognise that deep within you, at your core, there is a deficit of self-love, you can begin a more peaceful path of healing. You can give yourself the love that you need, the love that most likely you have been trying to receive from others. As you start to become more aware of yourself, as you feel what is really within you, and as you begin to fill your own cup with love from yourself, the gentle process of true healing begins.

Core wounds are large and deep, and stubborn. They are like onions, every time you think you’re through healing one you will encounter another layer. Do not be discouraged by this, it is the normal process with large wounds. Because core wounds are so big and so deeply entrenched within us, it is really important that you begin with loving yourself, thereby working on your core. You can waste many years trying to deal with what springs from the core, the lava, only to later realise that you still need to begin at the core.

Even if you tackle this from the core, it can be a very long process. For that reason it is important that you do not waste your time, energy, and money on trying to stop the flow of the lava. Working on this from the outside in will only lead eventually to disappointment, and probably recognition that you have wasted your efforts.
Lack of self-love is a core wound for so many people. Many of the problems that you see on the planet stem from this core wound. Our primary relationship is that of the self to the self. If this relationship is not strong, all our other relationships will reflect this weakness. We will seek from others, that which we should be providing for ourselves. Many problems result from this. When we see someone hurt their partner, or their ex-partner, because the partner has fallen out of love with them, or left them, this is lack of self-love becoming evident in people’s actions.

If we love ourselves enough, it doesn’t destroy us if people leave us or stop needing us in their lives. We can be sad, but we will understand that it is simply growth and change. If we get our love from ourselves, then no one can take that from us. No matter who comes or goes from our lives, the person we love most will always be with us.
Self-love makes us secure within ourselves; we come to value how we feel about ourselves more than how others feel. Spending time with ourselves can be a joyful thing, rather than the very uncomfortable thing it can be where there is no self-love. Imagine having to spend time with someone you really dislike. This is what it is like for someone who dislikes themselves; they don’t want to be alone, because they don’t like the company. Therefore they seek company with someone they do like, and if that person does not want to spend time with them, or withdraws their love, then their own issues begin to surface. These people then experience pain, anger or insecurity, all of which makes them uncomfortable and sometimes causes them to strike out.

I just thought of that old song “What the world needs now, is love sweet love”. This is true, however when we hear things like this most people automatically think of loving others. The truth is, what the world really needs now, and it has for a very long time, is self-love.

In this world where isolation is still a reality for many, there has never been a more important time for people to come to the point where they love themselves. Isolation became worse during COVID19, people were forced to stay either alone, or within their family unit, and where these relationships, either with themselves or with those around them were unhealthy, the consequences were sometimes dire. This awareness has triggered a desire to heal in many people now.

Now that we have more awareness, it is time for us all to focus on self-love, time for us to stop concerning ourselves with what is going on around us and shift our energy and our attention to what is happening within us. It is time for self-healing, and self-love is at the core of that journey.

Please come and have a chat if you would like some guidance & support on the journey towards self-love and deep healing. I know there is a lot of talk online about self-love and still so many people do not know what steps to take to achieve it. You will be surprised how simple this path can actually be.

Love and light

Sue