By Ms. Mandi: Today I would like to discuss the topic of having a relationship with a liar. I am specifically in this article referring to romantic relationships.
Let me begin by saying that being in a relationship and being in love with a liar is one of the most soul destroying experiences one can endure.
There are many types of different liars and here I will briefly address just a few:
White liar – a person that lies on occasion in order to protect themselves or the ones they love and care for or to avoid conflict and drama (Most of us who are not liars, would be guilty of falling under this type of liar at least once point in our lives)
Compulsive liar – a person that lies about anything and everything. It’s second nature to them. A habit! Rarely will anything that comes out of their mouth be the truth and in some cases, they are immune to their own lies and actually begin to believe the lies they tell.
There are other types of liars, but for the purpose of this article I will reflect only upon the 3 mentioned above.
No matter what type of liar a person is, with the exception one would say of the occasional white liar, having a relationship and loving a liar is a road that is bound to have many twists and turns, disappointments, tears and frustrations.
You might be reading this and finding that you’re in a relationship with a liar and wondering “What do I do?”
The answer is there’s no simple answer to the question. It comes down to what is it that you seek and want in your life. It has to do with YOUR self-worth. What are you willing to continue to accept and what will you no longer accept? This is where boundary setting comes in.
Some of you may have been in relationships for lengthy periods of time with a liar and holding onto hope that they may change. From personal experience and having read many studies on the topic, LIARS RARELY CHANGE. Although they will most definitely tell you they will change, are changing and sometimes may even tell you they have already changed! When confronted with evidence of a lie, some will confess to the lie and others will blatantly tell another lie to cover the lie that was uncovered.
Either way there is never an excuse for lying and whether one wants to admit it or not lying is a form of abuse and manipulation. If you find you’re in a situation with a liar, it’s time to evaluate where to go from here.
What is your self-worth?
What do you deserve?
Why are you putting up with what you are?
What can you do to change the situation?
Remember, that you can only change yourself, you cannot change the other person. Change comes with first realizing, accepting and acknowledging there’s a problem. Without this first, there is no change.
If you’re struggling in a situation with a liar. Contact me through LifeReader and I would be more than happy to work through a plan with you in order to help set you free.
You’re worth more than you think!
I look forward to talking with you soon.
Love and Blessings,