By Annelize: So far, I have lived 4 decades, my wonderful body carried me for all those different times. Times filled with laughter, with adventure, times of sadness, times of heartache, of isolation, times of uncertainty and just normal life. During all those time periods my body has been there, keeping me safe, keeping me warm, growing, changing, healing and keeping me alive. My mind carried 4 decades of crazy thoughts and adventurous ideas. I have been feeding my body for 4 decades with food, either healthy, junk food or just food. My body has been carrying my spirited soul, my gentle spirit for 4 decades. I have been breathing with my lungs for 4 decades, supplying oxygen to every cell in my body. My own heart has been beating for 4 decades, beating to the rhythm that the Creator created. So much wonder and awe if one can just step a bit back and realize all these everyday miracles that we daily experience.
If I go deeper, I want to challenge myself with personal questions, to be able to see what I have experienced, what I have felt and what I know about myself. After 4 decades, do I know what I like? Do I know what makes me happy? What makes me sad? What triggers me? Do I know what I want to do for the next year? Do I know what I want to do for the next 5 years? What is my passion? What am I good at? What do I love? What do I dislike? How am I responsible for my current situation? How many times did I lie to myself?
The moving from the past year to this new year and decade, stirred something in me, wanting to take stock, to start to contemplate. What is my life? Who am I? Am I who I want to be? Previous decades did not bother me much, we were bombarded with Y2K at the turn to 2000, but nothing that personally touched me, stirred me to take action. With this new year I was thrown with so many things that needed attention, spinning out of control, and already feeling exhausted just entering the first 2 weeks of the new year. Almost like I have no control and things just happening and I need to accept it. Feeling down, overstressed, physically low with allergies, I suddenly realized that looking back would show me, what I had created so far, and giving me the decision if I want to continue the same road or not. If I want to change anything, it must start today! I can do something!
Looking back, I realize so many things that I allowed that created much heartache and turmoil in my life. Am I going to continue this way, or am I going to break free and change it all? Only I can change it, by deciding to not have the same, not live the same ways. Not do the same things as before.
Here are a few things that I realized I allowed and were not so good for me:
– Minimizing my own needs, feelings and desires
– Withholding my opinion if it differs.
– Gave my power away.
– People pleaser.
– Dismissed own feelings.
– Wanting to be loved, approved and wanted.
– Having no boundaries.
These are just a few things that I realized and that I want to change and are changing step by step.
For this decade, I want to define the person that I want to be, the person I want to show up as, and the change I want to bring to myself, my family, my friends and this planet.
The new list for this decade is:
-I want to shave all my hair, my long hair, I want to lose my identity that is fixated on me having beautiful long hair.
-I am respected.
-I have boundaries to protect me, and to be able to show up as whole for others.
-I make myself happy first, then others. (this is not selfish, but part of self-care and taking back my own life)
– I do matter, I am a mom, I am a teacher, I am a coach, I am a counselor, I am a friend, I am a woman, I am worthy.
– I learn from my past, I take the wisdom and I apply it every day.
– I have made many mistakes, I learn from them, I forgive myself and others, so I create a new life.
– The past is gone, it is memories, the future is still just fantasies, only the now is the real thing! Staying present in the now allows me to create the future I want.
– I reclaim my power as a woman.
– I take full responsibility for me, for my life, I am free.
Hope this might just encourage you to take a few minutes and contemplate what you have created with your life so far. If you are happy with it, then continue to do what you are doing. If you are not happy, well, there are a few options, change the situation, leave the situation or just accept the situation. I would rather you walk into this decade focused, motivated and ready to take on those things that have been kept in the dark. It is time to let the light shine on it so that you can be free. Free to live the you that you always wanted to be in this next decade!
Please share what you want to take with you this next decade of 2020, so we can support each other in attaining it and standing strong.
Love and Light,