By Jenn: I think we can all relate to the feelings associated with a new relationship. You feel giddy, like a young teen, the world all of a sudden turned up the lights. Everything looks new. You feel connected. Everything is tender, intimate, fun. Parts of you feel alive again. A new relationship is one of the best feelings in the world.
It is easy to misread people at this stage of a relationship. It is easy to ignore the red flags that come up, thinking oh, that’s not such a big deal. It is easy to give too much of ourselves because it just feels so good to be wanted and needed. The beginning of a relationship is quite often when we make the most mistakes, and for good reason, of course we want this feeling of euphoria to last forever.
The beginning of a relationship is the most important time to have your inner radar on high. It’s the time to listen to that inner voice. It’s the time to watch the actions and not necessarily listen to the words. This is the time to be vigilant,. Is this person exactly who we want to be in a relationship with? Am I getting what I deserve from the relationship? Do I feel safe with this person? Do I feel supported and nurtured by this person? Do I feel as though I am honoring myself when I am with this person? Yes, be critical, because if you are not, you are apt to waste a lot of time and heartache.
I am not saying all relationships are bad, or unhealthy, in fact quite the opposite. Each relationship has something to teach us. When we learn to pay attention early on and honor our intuition, the quicker we start saying goodbye in the early stages.
When we hold onto half truths in the beginning, we are doing ourselves a disservice. Staying in a relationship simply because you are afraid to start over, or because you want to feel loved is a dangerous move. It’s easy to see the good stuff. It’s easy to see icing on the cake. Doing your homework will pay dividends.
How will you know? You begin to feel like you are crossing your own boundaries. You feel left out. You feel like your values are dropping. You feel as though you are walking on egg shells. You feel yourself letting go of what you want, in order that your partner gets what they want. You start to feel uncomfortable and accept treatment that you wouldn’t normally. You start to feel lonely.
No one deserves to be treated badly in a relationship. The more you accept from an unhealthy person, the more you will receive. We are constantly teaching people how to treat us. It is up to us to draw the line, speak up and walk away if necessary. Why wait until you have invested more time and effort? Why wait until you feel like it’s too late? Why wait until the love you once drooled over has left you feeling lonely and wondering where your sense of self went?
Your intuition will always lead you to the loving relationship, as long as you follow it.
Love and Light,