Do You Feel Invisible?

By Ann: As a young woman, I felt I fitted in with fashion and styles of society, but as I grew older and had children, that all changed. As I grew older, I felt like I had started to slip slowly into invisibility. My kids became teenagers then adults and became their own person, and I felt like I had lost my identity. The less everyone else in my life needs me, the more invisible I have felt. I see this with other older women I know as well. 

Even in the workforce, older people get overlooked, it seems that if you are young and attractive you get noticed more. It is like no one is interested in an older person’s opinion. Our children no longer turn to us as the source of all knowledge and wisdom or for approval. Instead, they seek that out with their friends and partners. 

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I have been a mother for over 30 years now and my identity has changed so much over that time. My children need me less and less in a physical or even emotional sense. Younger men and women treat me as insignificant and useless which I find rude and arrogant. It is hurtful and insensitive. I cannot bring youth to any job that I apply for, but I can bring wisdom that only age, and experience can give. As much as I would like to feel younger, I don’t want to be 20 or even 30 again. As I entered menopause, my body changed once again. Just like it did when I went from being a child into a woman, and then becoming a mother. When girls and boys go through puberty, it’s a sign of growing up and even pregnancy is treated as perfectly normal, which it is.

Talking about menopause or the changes that come with it still feels taboo very much. This adds to the invisibility of being an older woman. However, we should really recognize that we have a lot of power in our mature years. Ageing is a part of life which happens to both men and women, which should not be feared. We can do it gracefully, naturally, loudly, and proudly, just not invisibly. Losing your identity can happen in different life situations, for example, in a long-term relationship or marriage, being a parent, a son/daughter. Your goals and beliefs are changing, and you don’t know who you are anymore. 

When people interrupt and talk over you in conversations as if your opinion is outdated and they may not even be aware they are doing this, but it makes you feel like your presence is ignored and rejected and you don’t matter. This can erode your self-esteem and self-confidence. People of different racial or gender minorities can often face prejudice and bias which can contribute to invisibility. So, what can you do about it? You can set clear boundaries by speaking out to family members and explain how this sometimes hurts you when you feel left out. Or explain to a partner when your messages are ignored.  

Assertive communication means to plainly state your thoughts and feelings and reminds others that your voice matters. Upbringing can play a part with how we communicate and being overlooked can be a result in sometimes holding back your feelings. Feeling invisible is not just an older person’s problem, but I have heard a lot of older people experiencing this feeling. Maybe our behavior and perception can change in a positive way, therefore changing our perceptions toward other people and they in turn maybe react in a more positive way to us. 

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Love and Light,

Ann

 

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Ann
Ease your mind. Certified psychic/life coach & healer.
Ann

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